What Not To Say On A Date

Honesty should always be saved for the 3rd date.   “I’m just recovering from a chest infection, I shouldn’t be contagious though!” “I sleep in old man pajamas, like loud, obnoxious ones. I’m sorry, what were you asking me?” “On this one episode of Phineas and Ferb, they delved into Candace’s mind and encountered her … Continue reading

Open Letter to a guy I met at a party

We need to talk. This is the part where I’d offer you a brewski, if I drank beer. Would you like a Vitamin Water? Or almond milk? No? Okay then. So we’ve made out a few times now, and it’s been fun and all, but I just don’t see this going anywhere and don’t see … Continue reading

Some Ponderings on Hair Colour

God. What is wrong with my hair lately . . . it’s all . . .yellow . . . disgusting. I don’t care how many people tell me it looks nice and “golden” (shudder), I will not accept this travesty. It will be ash, so help me. My last boyfriend first met me when I … Continue reading

Letter to an Ex Boyfriend

Letter To An Ex-Boyfriend Hey there. How’s it going? I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, but I’ve been thinking about you lately, and there are a few things I’d like to ask. I was one of your first girlfriends, so does that mean I’ll always “mean something” to you, like they … Continue reading

Some Ponderings on . . . Why I’m Single

**What follows is a sample of my internal monologue whilst speaking with an attractive member of the opposite sex. Reader discretion is advised for extreme awkwardness.** Okay, okay. Play it cool. No big deal. You’ve got this. Oh shit – Hey. Ohymgodheistalkingtome. WhatdoIdo. Ishouldnothavehadcaffeinethismorningshitshitshit. Hey how are you! It’s pretty hot out there, eh! OHMYGOD. … Continue reading

Some Ponderings . . . On Glasses

I’m just torturing myself. Again. My eyes keep darting upward, praying that you don’t notice but secretly hoping that you do. [My god, English is an inconsistent language. Sorry, tangent. This was a lot easier back when I actually wrote in my diary.] Alright, time to control my field of vision and take off the … Continue reading