How to be Sick, in style

It’s hard being stylish on an everyday basis. You have to pick out pieces, stay fit and organized, be unique, and not look like a total idiot.

You know what’s even harder? Being stylish when you’re sick.

You know what that takes? Planning. With these simple tips, you’ll be well on your way to Instagramming from your sick bed, and tweeting from your doctor’s office, and actually maintaining your followers.

1. Be Prepared
No one wants to leave the house when they’re sick, and, let’s be honest, no one wants you to leave the house if you’re sick. So let’s just do the world a favour and be prepared for most basic instances of illness. A basic list of supplies you should have around just in case someone contracts a cold include Pepto Bismol, Kleenex galore (especially the kind with aloe or lotion – your nose will thank you), Tylenol (acetominofriend!), Buckley’s, honey, lemons, a thermometer, and something mentholated. Once that stops working, you’ll have to go to the doctor’s. Skip to the end for what to do for that.

2. Classy Bathrobe
Don’t wanna get dressed to cough and sneeze? No problem! That’s what bathrobes are for! Now you have to pick which style you’re going for.
Will it be a silky kimono with flowers on the sleeves?

Hawt.

Or a velvet smoking robe with a lapel?

Dayum.

Maybe a classic terry or fleece in a bright, cheerful hue?

She’s rockin’ it.

Whichever you choose, it’s better than a Snuggie, and you can rest soundly knowing that.

3. Old Man Pajamas
Nothing quite says “the world can screw itself” and “I’m better than you” simultaneously like a pair of old man pajamas. You know the ones: matching top and bottom, buttons down the front, breast pocket, collar and cuffs? I have seven pairs of these. I’ve been collecting since I was 13. Taylor Swift seriously needs to stop stealing my clothes. Wearing sweatpants and band tshirts to bed and then subsequently out in public say to the world, “I am beaten.” Don’t be beaten; beat illness.

See what I mean? This says, "I'm awesome."

See what I mean? This says, “I’m awesome.”

4. Entertainment
Download a ton of stuff to watch, listen to, read, etc, that don’t really mind not remembering, because if you are sick enough to miss class, chances are you can’t retain any information at the moment (Profs, if you’re reading this, you will now understand my marks). This is essential because, without a doubt, after one week of illness you will be bored out of your mind. Imagine how bad you’ll be after 7. I’ve been sick the vast majority of this semester, but I’m still trying and have retained most of my sanity by keeping occupied. I don’t care if you’re convulsion or vomiting or both, keeping busy is the best way to maintain mental acuity. You may lose all your body strength, but your mind will be going strong.

This has been getting my through my coughing fits. And causing a few.

5. Friends
Did you manage to get all your friends sick on the road to recovery? Have a sick party! Do all the sleepover-esque activities you would normally do – play board games, watch cheesy movies and teen soaps, read Cosmo and giggle, etc – but instead of taking te, take cough syrup! Don’t have friends that are sick, too? That’s what stuffed animals are for! I, for example, have a bear wearing HBC stripes, a beaver dressed as a Mountie, and stuffed cat with a pink bow.

If you have to venture outside of your house (cough, drug store, doctor’s office, hospital, class, etc), may I suggest you follow the makeup tips from How Not To Look Hungover? The basic principles of disguising severe dehydration are the same regardless of how you came to be in that state. Just add lots of cover up and lotion to your nose, which by now probably looks like a fire engine. Case in point:

ME.

I hope to be over this perpetual bout with illness soon. I know it must be tiresome to keep reading about it, but I hope, if you’re sick, that it’s nice to have someone to relate to. Here’s to getting better, together.

Until next time, mes amis.

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